ken

I feel shocked and stressed about ken

sure I abandoned him like everyone else did in his hire times of need .. only tom was able to sustain the relationship probably because Tom loves being first hand in presence of despair -- while most others like myself don't want to face reality and what could happen to us oneday 

anyways I had a memory of the good old times .. hanging out in Tahoe gambling and boarding and drinking .. we went to Hong Kong for the first time together .. great times really

now the dude can barely walk ( for those who don't know - my old friend had a brain aneuyism and is near death undergoing his 2nd brain operation today ).  god bless and save his life.. but even if he lives he may be in a wheelchair for life or who knows what ..

so this kind of stuff happens and nobody can predict it.  sure if u r 400lbs and drinking and smoking one may not be surprised but plenty of athletic dudes topple over too.

bottom like enjoy life .. live to the fullest whatever that means for you. 

what it means for me .. is my biggest problem in life ...

on the happy material note I bought a new bike.  I'm excited it's coming from UK in 2 weeks !   I was deciding between a designer budnitz, a cheap us maker Raleigh and this ditch titanium builder and went with the latter.  let's hope I don't hey cancer from titanium.  more on bike later