Potential

I need to start meeting some more girls out here. So much untapped potential for me.

I admit my confidence levels aren't at the highest in life. Life is like that, never so easy to have it all. Life is good, work is good, but not the love life. I was dating a girl recently but realized there is no passion so went the "good guy" route and broke it off before it got too hairy (and w/ j-girls it is literally hairy).

Last night I went out w/ this gal who I find really really cute. I'm quite smitten by her. Young gal like 26 I think. I find though that my dates are worse when I am trying. I tend to build attraction when I don't care and just go with the flow. Not sure whats up w/ that but kinda makes sense. One thing girls can smell is desperation and they hate that. Anyways can't put too much weight or thought into it, just see how it goeth like the rest.

So anyways thats my love life. Seeking true connection. If only I had the connection power of Mr.Tom. Damn!! that bastard.

I am going to open a $10k credit line at MGM but I am concerned if it will affect my FICO score.....

Slippage

I made a critical blunder at work last week. Wiped out a few tables in our prod database. Ooopssssss.. very disturbing because I have worked in prod systems alot and am usually quite careful about these things. Alas.. my coworker was cool, but took an hour or two to recover stuff. If I were on a different system I'd probably be fired. Yep, I am older now, 35yo, I must slow my typing down to match the speed of my dying brain.

I gotta figure out my work goals for the year which is an administrative headache.. but otherwise work is good, I like whats going on so far. Writing some moderately interesting pieces of software, learning some new things. What else can you ask for from work.

On the health front.. 2 days of boarding killed me. I need to run or something, my legs and back are not in shape. Must hit the gym.. 2 months of '08 are gone and I been slacking.

Dating front.. I broke it off last week w/ this one gal I was dating on the DL for maybe 2 months. Cute gal but not quite cute enough I guess -- more just lack of passion! I asked out this young gal I met (24?) so am going out Thursday w/ her. Hmmm... I wonder if I will have anything to talk to a 24yo about. She did live in SF before so we got that much in common anyways. I asked out this other gal I met like 3 months back and she tells me lets go out 3rd week of March. I'm like wtf kind of response is that -- kinda like the japanese version of I need to wash my hair? Oh well whatever. Theres a reason why I waited 3 months to ask her out, its because I wasn't that interested. I guess she figured that out. Hehe.

Thats the latest news from this side of this world.

I may go to Whistler in April. I figured I might as well do more than lie around my sisters place. Although a detour to whistler will cost me another $1000-1200. Hmmmmm....

Snow

I went to Nagano this weekend.

Let me tell you, the snow in Japan is far far far better than anything in Tahoe. All 4 times I've gone so far have been way better than the single best time ever in Tahoe (which I can't recall since they are always so mediocre). Deep powder, open terrain, less crowded lifts, etc. Lift tickets are cheaper too!

Yep another example of how you could sit there skiing the same mountain or town all your life and never realize you were skiing (snowboarding) at one of the mediocre resorts in the world. The unfortunate thing is I believe from accounts of some foreigners that Nagano and Niseko are among the best in the world. I may have already hit the peak of life!!

Pics to come.

Once

My friend from my last company e-mails me and says he heard jr. traders at his company make $750k. I said bah whatever. This is the problem working at a Wall St firm (and really any firm) -- so much bullshit "i heard blah blah" about compensation and some other dude making more than you. Fortunately I've mostly been out of the big $$ mindset so I don't really care so much for money -- I'm looking for the passion!!

Which brings me to the next topic of the day.. I had a chat w/ a dude at work and we both agreed that in our 20's it was easy to be passionate, and in our 30's we don't know what happened, whether we learned that all the energy we put into work was for naught, or that we just got lazy with age.

I still feel strong about the idea of being single minded and how that helps you. The ability to truly focus is something I wish I had. Of course that ability costs you in terms of empathy. In Heroes the invisible dude called Peter an empath, and thats what he is. I feel I'm like that in my own cold cruel way. I think about others and myself in many directions. Too much thinking about other stuff, not enough focus on my tasks at hand. Surely there is a proper gig for someone with this condition.

The more I talked to people the more I realize how common it is for people to struggle with their lives and purposes in life (like Po has found from his research). The choices we make at 15 determine our destiny at 25, and at 25 for 35, etc. And its really only at 35 or so that we become cognizant of this cycle and want to break out if its not going where we want it to. Post 35 there is much you can really do. Those who realize it earlier at 25 are far ahead of the curve.

For me, I ponder the many goals I have and which to attempt to really focus on. The more opportunities we have, the harder it is to choose the right one. Extreme case in point: A poor farmer in China has but like 3 choices. Farm and struggle, steal and risk being shot, or be a vagrant. Not really much else. Most of us have far too many choices in comparison.

Dreamer

What an amazing time
What a family
How did the years go by?
Now it’s only me

We all have jacked up family thats just life. Thus I am happy enough w/ mine. No gangsters and leeches what more can I ask for.

Last night I had a dream that I was about to or was making out w/ a dude. WTF. I was at a casino so I played some craps too I think. Anyways I think about to bang the dude and I snapped out of it and said man I'm not gay. Holy shit, what the hell kind of dream is that. Its the good and bad of remembering dreams... what can I say.

I need to focus my energy. I find myself just surfing the web endlessly and without purpose of late.

Sapporo pics

chronicals of narnia made out of ice


Our friend Totoro




It seems Sapporo is famous for this crap, we saw them everywhere


The masterpiece was this temple. amazing attention to detail. they had a video of how they made it playing on the side and it was a foonominal effort.


Yep thats my life. Thats my death.

Action

My friend VIG started sleeping w/ a Japan Airlines Flight Attendant. Wow what a score, she is only 23 years old. Goes to show that persistence and execution pays off!

My friend showed me a few card tricks today and I felt compelled to reverse engineer the ones that were algorithmic in nature (and not sleight of hand). Apparently I love trying to solve puzzles so one of these took me an a while think about and solve. But there are few things as gratifying as understanding the mechanics of something in detail. I suppose thats one of my passions. I could be like Sylar.

The card trick is the one where you start w/ a smaller deck, say 21 cards. ask the player to pick a card and remember it. put the card back in, re-shuffle, deal the cards into 3 stacks. Show each stack and ask the person to tell which stack (of 7) it is in. Then combine the stacks (putting the stack w/ the target card in the middle), then re-deal into 3 stacks. Repeat 2x, and then you should be able to identify the card.

Shopp-a-holic

I haven't pu any Sapporo pics up.. need to download those oneday.

Still shopping for a new laptop or PC replacement. Sure sure now if I'll go w/ an iMac and live w/ my 13.3" laptop that has a dead charging unit, or get a new smaller 12.1" laptop and convert my 13.3" into a desktop (ie get a 24" monitor).

I just like to spend money!!

There is a website http://www.steepandcheap.com
Interesting idea. It has a queue of deals that are listed until they sell out (or maybe there is a timer too because I see the same shit come out after a while). Anyways the idea is you have to keep logging back in to see the current deal.

Anyways the site usually has crap. Finally oneday there were some goggles I could use but alas, when I tried to order they were sold out. WTF. Day after day.. hour after hour... I would just see useless crap. It was pissing me off but I was also getting obsessed w/ finding something I could use.

Interesting to tap into the habits of a discount shop-a-holic. These types of sites drive sales from people who don't need anything but are just bored and want to buy something at a major discount. Same w/ slickdeals.net, techbargains.com, Amazon gold-box and other sites that offer you deals.

uggg taxes

I can't believe it.. I apparently put $20,000 into 401k (long story how). Did you know the limit for 2007 is like 15.5k ? Uh.. not sure what to do. I guess thats why I have a tax accountant.

Parasite

In Heroes there are two brothers. Nathan and Peter. Their relationship reminds me in some odd ways of myself and my brother. My brother like Nathan is a very focused and successful guy, single minded in his efforts at times all at the expense of others around him. As a result, like Nathan he's successful by typical standards. I may have the potential to exceed him but I am not nearly focused enough -- like Peter I feel like I should be doing something, but what it is I'm not sure. And like Peter I'm a bit sensitive and want to do the right thing.... all the thought and doubt gets in the way of completing goals.

Interesting though.. I also pondered whether my brother would let me die like Nathan was going to do to Peter. Well who knows, real life isn't quite like the movies or TV.

So my haircutter today (not a bad looking gal, probably 28-30, kind of my type I think in a motherly, breastfeeding kind of way), tells me I don't look single or don't look like I'm looking (or something like that). I am getting that vibe alot from girls. I am hearing that "you don't look like you're looking for a girlfriend" or "you seem like you are happy being alone" or whatever. Hmm what the heck does that mean I don't know. If I interpret in the latter form its not that good, but I guess its better than being told I look lonely like VIG gets. I'd rather have the "damn we should get naked" effect on girls that our friend Booby has. Alas.....

Well its too bad my haircutter is married and has a kid. I guess I could still hit that, but again, deep down inside I am a nice guy like Peter so it prevents me from executing on this type of life.

Pre-Sapporo and ProShares

Okay, I went to Sapporo for the snow festival. Its worth going to Sapporo on its own in the winter because its quite a nice town. The snow festival is somewhat overrated but definitely a once in a lifetime thing to go to (meaning I'd only go once). They built some amazing things for sure.

Anyways it was a nice trip. I should move to Sapporo and live the easy life.

In other news, the economy is crashing. People speak of the impending consumer credit crisis and how the age of USD$ has come and gone, and this century will belong to Asia. Asia may go into crisis as well who knows. So where to go w/ your money. Now thats the mystery for sure.

I discovered recently these interesting products called ProShares (by ProFund). They have put together 2 interesting product ideas. Leveraged ETFs and short ETFs. You can now buy into a 2x leveraged ETF that tracks an index or shorts an index w/o directly paying margin. So if you want reverse exposure to something (like say real estate) you can buy into the appropriate short reit ETF. I am thinking of buying short into Japan as a natural hedge against my situation of earning JPY. Need to do more research into this.

In other news.... I am feeling the need to do some snowboarding equip upgrades for no reason but to spend my into happiness. This CNN article describes the phenomenon.

Fin aDVISORship

So i am pondering getting a financial advisor.

So anyways I am talking to a guy.. and (1) I ask for his resume. He is shocked and says he's never been asked that. I am like.. u should have one, u r being interviewed for your expertise. Sell me on why u r any good. Then (2) he says fax me copies of my bank statements. I am like wait a minute, I dont just send my docs to any schmo. People are obviously very trusting of any loser who says he is a "financial planner" -- wtf right?

My qualms are...
1) they often are schmucks off the street who know nothing of markets and economics
a) one guy i know used to be a hotel middle manager
b) one girl i know used to be a sports marketing manager
2) they work in a world where they are conflicted between saving a client money and making commissions for themselves (this is quoted from friend (b)).

Why I'm consideirng it...
1) I find I am not smashing the street. My personal returns are like 10-20% over the past 5 years, but I noticed during that time the benchmarks (my 401k) have been higher. So whats up, my active management is losing to plain old funds (POF).
2) I don't have time to sit and watch whats happening.. in theory a guy who dedicates 10hrs a day to watching markets should have an edge on me.
3) I should get some analysis on my retirement projections.. how much i should save, what i need to retire, etc.

Although did you realize at $1k month @ 9% interest for 25 years.. you get to ~$1mm. Put it in excel, =FV() w/ rate =9%, periods = 25, pmt=-12000. So getting to $1mm isn't that hard. Most of us put $1k/month in 401k (or u should be anyways). Problem is $1mm is not enough...........

Storming in Ebisu

Thats my balcony there is like 1.5" of snow already this morning. Wow. I need to nap.. had a fricking long day on Saturday. Snowboarded w/ the gang, went out for VIG's bday, then had after dinner drinks till 2am.

I fell asleep on my rug, thats a bad sign.