Data

I have a new plan...

2015 -- new biz.

My focus will be ... Data analytics and reporting.

I am going to re-evaluate all the database tech out there today that I've lost track of..  KDB, MongoDB, HySQL, BigTable, etc...  and build a stack of tech I can use to do the ETL portions as well as data design and reporting.

Hopefully all open source so I can package a free solution.

More later..  

Profiling my activities.. Google !

Geez they are massively profiling my searches these days now that I log into everything w/ Google on my android, home PC etc..

Recently I was looking into these hi tech bluetooth headphones, the Parrot Zik -- pretty pimp and they come in Rose Gold edition for super pimping.  Anyways after a week of reading reviews etc.. I see that my random web pages have ads with the headphones all the time.  I'm like wtf.

Google also reads your mail to determine stuff like what flight you or your friend is arriving on and shows it in your daily events page.  Wow.. its great.. powerful, but scary.

In other news... i am down to 76 kg I think.  Maybe I should go weigh myself after I ate a huge steak...

With arms wide open

Hmmmmmmm 3 day holiday.   For a rare change I stayed in Tokyo.

I started re-reading the structure and interpretation of programming languages.   Cs 101 at MIT.   Are there any gems of wisdom in there for old men?

Otherwise Hmmmmmmm...   Not much biked around a lot.   For 5yr I never touched my old bike.   This summer to fall I am loving jumping around town on the bike.   If I get a raise of >20k maybe I will buy a car this year...  Next level of fun.

Or will buy these cool parrot zik bluetooth headphones.  Wow extravagant cool shit that costs $400.  Life without kids what can I say..  

I explained to my friend I rather be free, alone and lonely than tied to someone I don't fully love and wanna be with...  So I will stick with that plan for now.   So many lonely people on earth I imagine it's really sad. 

Absolom...

3 day weekend in TK happenings

1. Fri night went to a bar/club.  My club game sucks its depressing.  But there are alot of girls in TK.. no doubt its a haven for the right guy.
2. Went on a brunch date Sunday with a young nurse.  Brilliant eyes, really pretty (eyes).  Overall just so-so but we'll see if it goes anywhere.  Its a typical type of girl I wind up dating in Japan because its convenient..  no language, not much career or common interest, but if she is supple and  easy I go for it.   Kind of waste of time, but fun at the3 same time....
3. Went biking most days to run errands.  Started LoL action again!!! 
4. Had some scotch and a cigar tonight (Monday).  Wow weekend blitz'd by quick.

Revelations...  hmmmm was reflecting on hangin out w/ Yee. Good to get together w/ the man.  I find it interesting how his dating life is in Oregon..  he seems to have alot of action.  Ok maybe not 23 year old action, but still good action like some korean lawyer etc..  boy last time i dated a girl who had a real career .. i can't remembver!

anyways snow season approaches and my mood is steadily improving :)

I bought a new board, just sized up some new boots and bindings.  Now I just need to stop spending money at insane rates.. but alas, live life... the motta of Tom and Bao...  those guys dont let money get in the way of enjoying life.

I am down to 77kg.  I was at 79.  I am shooting for 75 before ski season which would put me about 3-4 kg below my avg winter weight.  I always figured if I was -10lbs (4.5kg), i'd be flying on the slopes!!

Current outlook on work -- hold.
Current outlook on japan - hold.
Current outlook on girls - look harder

Entourage - one of my all time favorites

I may reminisce about this show in my older age and dying days..  I don't know why I love this show so much.  I always heard it was great, and finally got to start watching it over the past 2 months and I really loved it.

I think all guys would love thinking back to the good life living w/ the boys and hanging out.  While I imagine many probably think back to those days of single-life as the best times of their lives, I am glad for those who escaped and moved on.  You can't live in statis forever -- otherwise you lose the flavor and memory of what was once great (I know I have been doing it too long and it is a major problem)..

Anyways the show makes me think...

- What am I doing w/ my life, shouldn't I go and live and make things happen rather than confine myself to this life of 9-5 daily grind ?
- Its all about true love, though does true love really last I wonder... Ari Gold is an interesting case to watch in the show.  My hero.

So while I enjoy making enough money to travel and goof off all year around and stay in 5-star hotels or drink Opus One... it seems shallow.  I know it.   I also feel I should take some risk and buy some properties or something.. I'm missing out on alot of investment opps -- from real estate and rental incomes, to stock market gains!  Its a shame.

Anyways I needed to watch an uplifting show like this after seeing so many overly serious downer dramas...  loved it!!

Long live my pals 

Day trading

Hmm I feel like I will start again soon. . Maybe.

Opus 2009

I'm not rich by any means.  Prob most folks who may read this have more assets and probability of early retirement than me.  But I do like to splurge and I don't have many expenses... 

So after going to Taipei I found myself at home and picked up a bottle of the elusive Opus 2009. Weird the local shops had a lot of bottles 06 07 but suddenly all gone..   So a 09 popped up so I said what the heck $240 down the tube? 

My analysis.. ?   Hmm i can't rate wine.   It was good and rarely can I drink a whole bottle.  I can say drinking is like a hypnotic state for me..  Lucidity and visions follow.   This time I thought about the need to stop thinking about what I wanna do and just pick something and do it.   Like Korean studies or whatever.  

Anyways I need to review what I wanted to get done this year..   I think the main this is android and iPhone app.   Gawd time is running out... 

I lost 5lbs feels great.   I gotta try to keep it off.   Tough when drinking and travel ensues..   I had quit  regular drinking for 5mo which is prob the main helper.  

Anyways kind-of a lame post!   Taipei was great I love the noodles.

I came from nothing

Watching season 2 entourage and Vincent says he would rather do what he loves even if it means no payday etc.   He says he came from nothing..  And as much as he likes the toys he can always go back. ..

I wonder if I can go back or not.   Part of the honest issue is trying to keep up the image of success with your peers..  Keeping up w the Jones's so to speak.   Yes pride screws with you.

Anyways trip of the season is done w kawak and crew.  I forget if he reads this but he should know it's great to see him and spend some time w the boys.   Well I value it a lot since I don't have a whole lot else but hopefully we all feel the same..

Back to the topic at hand..   Let's see who Vincent does season 2 as he follows his heart.

Revelation 1 - Silicon Valley (SV)

Had breakfast briefly w/ Chuck and Aaron.

Aaron is a pretty brilliantly smart guy -- now he's at Facebook and was telling us a few things
1- the amount of engineering is amazing.  They are building their own hardware, data centers, etc.  All open source as well
      http://www.opencompute.org/
      http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2013/06/facebook-opens-data-center-filled-entirely-with-servers-it-designed/

2 -- its all young people.  Aaron said its mostly 23-26 yo's who work pretty odd hours and ride skateboards around and are out of shape.

3 -- he wouldn't have passed as a developer because their tests are super hard.  also he failed to get in in '2007 and got in in '2009 instead.. costing him prob $10m bucks!  I am guessing he made a few million off it regardless but not like mega-buckaroos.   But point is, if he couldn't get in then I wouldn't get in either...

So all in all, it makes me wonder if my dream of getting back into Silicon Valley is just a dream or what..  I mean I am thinking after 6years out of hard core tech, and 6years older, now 40, that I could still waltz my way back..  perhaps I'm not thinking straight ?

Sure I can waltz back into Samsung or some mid-grade role, but Goog or FB.. I think that time has passed me by.  Probably my peak time to go that route was 10yrs ago when I went to BGI instead of Netflix, Apple, Ebay or some other top tier tech firm.   Today I can prob get into an HP or Samsung, but then my work life may be similarly disinteresting as it is now...  ?  or would it?   Hmmm new things to think about as I ponder my next move in life.

Thinking to work this current job for another 20years is depressing me.

As for Chuck, he bought a Tesla and is enjoying life.  he is 68... damn that is old, but he is looking/doing very well and I'm very glad he made time to have breakfast with me on short notice.

I love android life

I have to say..  Since the days of the dot com bubble and turn of the decade life is super awesome in general.

Android and iPhone have made life so ultra convenient..   Maps email booms are all at our fingertips it's so awesome when you think about it.   I can blog from here easily as I can read about quicksort on Wikipedia. 

Anyways I have this issue with decision making..  Going all in.   I can rarely do it.   With real estate I'm always slow..  On stocks of late slow to decide if I'm long or short ..  Can't decide if I am stayed in job long haul or quitting.  And in girls I can't decide if I want to go for the super adorable coffee shop girl or find a suitable English speaking companion type.. 

One thing I admit..  I'm slowing down.   I have trouble having monkey sex..  In fact I would say monkey is impossible or rare these days I am lucky to just have old people sex.   Hmmmmmmm life slows down quick.  

5 months to go but then what ?

Hmm... my plan as of now is to consider quitting in Feb

But, that gives me 5 months to figure out my plans.  Because.. I am quite certain, quitting job with no plan == not a good idea.

Being bored or just sitting around is great.. but maybe, just maybe having a better plan laid out is best.

So far I am not sure.. let me meditate for the next 5 months.  Just thinking to exercise more, read, go snowboarding etc... maybe not enough for a whole year off ??

Wow that's fucked up

I looked at what was on my mind 1yr ago...  And holy shit it's the same fucking thing...

That is hella retarded.   I am apparently in an endless spiral.

I guess having a hot young gf didn't matter after all.   My focus is always about work and life satisfaction and doesn't have so much to do w girls maybe.

Opportunity and ability.. And potential

I think some of my angst in life is thinking that I have a lot of potential and opportunity but am not doing much with it.   I'm not unhappy or dissatisfied that I didn't go to Harvard or that I wasn't born rich,  I'm quite Ok with fate.  

So anyways what's it mean?   Hmm I'm pretty happy with the easy life I have but I think I need a change soon.   I am thinking about taking a year off I Feb.

Why Feb?   Just financial..  Waiting for bonus and stock vesting..  

I figure I can downsize and live off $50k a year..   Inclusive of modest travel and life enjoyment.   Maybe budget up to $75k - -  I'm tracking my expenses so I have a good idea what I spend on.  

Biggest factor is losing the easy job..  And the fact that once u leave japan it's hard to come back due to job market.   Then again why would I want to work in a market with no options??

The El cheapo factor is also losing income..  I won't be saving money so it'll be a net loss year or two before I recover.   If I typically save 75k a year (including stock and 401k) then I'm down up to 150k to do this.   Hmmmmmmm

Given I am lucky I can even consider this..  I probably should do it.   If I had married mk or the last gf..  Wow no way I could take a break.   This maybe the sign to just do it and force the hand? 

Or find more passion at current job!  Haha

Drudge life

Lately I feel life really Sucks.   I know
that it's just a recurring up and down of life.   I often wonder what makes people happy..   Is it job or family or friends?..

I imagine it is the combo of having some if it all..  But at any given time one part is going to suck.   Sometimes they all line up and it's the best time of your life..  Sometimes more than one goes bad at once and it's the worst!

But we all recover.   We are all strong at heart and we will be Ok.   It's just about getting thru the tough times and not making rash decisions on how to escape...  

Lately I think about quitting and either..  Bring a bum and doing nothing..  Starting my own company..   Moving back to California..   Or something..   I don't know.  

The truth is having too many choices is one of the biggest problems

Goals for the rest of the year

I think i wrote these before... but let me make new goals.

1. Read 1 book per month (6 more for year).
 - Currently part way thru..  The Little MLer, Literate Programming (re-read), and Hawking's famous book
 - Maybe try to add a random novel in between for kicks
 - I would like to focus on the famous Scheme book again... another unfinished (Abelson)

2. Programming
 - Learn bit more python (at work)
 - Learn bit more scheme
 - Learn how to use Google Web Services (App Toolkit stuff)
 - Learn some Android programming
 - Learn a bit more on iPhone programming

3. Health
 - Continue to drink less or not drink
 - Exercise more this year, lost 5kg (11lbs)

4. Relationships
 - Try not to date losers... focus on quality, long term potential

The last point is the trickiest one.  As I've told many a females don't be so picky, just date anyone cause you never know who you'll click with and fall in love with if you give it a shot.  But in my case, I think I'm prone to dating girls who are too young or leeches.. so I'm going to be a bit more selective.  It may mean I don't date anyone, but I will try to focus on #1-3 for now.. and the rest we shall see!

How does this compare to my prior Goals I wonder...

Sunday thoughts

Sunday
Woke up alittle drugged from taking a ruffie to try seeing if it helps me sleep.  Slept 12 to 5 or 6 but woke to eat some yogurt as usual.  At 9am I must say I felt more groggy than usual.

Headed to bike ride w friends for 3 hrs.  Nice relaxing.. the good life.

Having a coffee at sbucks but the sun in blazing melting me.  I saw several pretty gals but I have zero game these days and maybe never had... makes me a little depressed.  But then again even I need something more than women or money...  will explore this thought more once in the shade.

of Brokeback Mountains

Brokeback, which I started watching and promptly fell asleep after drinking 5/6 of a bottle of wine..  is about star crossed lovers.  Much like Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story, they are lovers who can't be together due to circumstances of society, or gender, or economics..  quite sad that they are allowing things to keep them from being true to themselves.

I made a slight correlation to myself in that my star crossed love is my ex-gf.  While we broke up a few months ago, I think of it in similar ways..  if she were a bit older, or I a bit younger, maybe it could have worked out.

But ultimately thats all hollywood gibberish.

A semi-wise man once told me, to get over a past relationship you need n-days apart to heal, and every time you reach out or see the person the clock starts again at day 0.  Its indeed very true... I saw my ex-gf last night and it rekindles everything.  But I know and she knows that our destiny is not for this world.

The Alaska Experience

I came to Alaska to defeat the big mountain via the Helicopter .. actually I came just because this seems like the type of thing that people love to do and live for.

My impression is.. its indeed the ultimate experience.  I am very happy to be able to do this in terms of:
1) Physically -- though most of the customers are 40-60yo's, they are in great shape and train all year for this.
2) Skills -- though I am not the best, I am barely good enough to tangle w/ the big boys. 
3) Money -- its expensive, but since I don't have wife and kids.. its ok.  No gf even these days!!!
4) Opportunity -- after riding w/ these guys I feel this operation is high risk, one slip and they are out of business.  The landings are really gnarly..  I imagine you can't mitigate the risk, its just a matter of time before heli goes away from America due to risk, insurance costs, and lawsuits.

Anyways it has been a blast.  Definitely the ultimate experience...

During my downtime I am doing nothing..  not thinking so much about my life or loves or whatever.  Just being is enough for now.

One thing I do notice is the passion around me.  The folks here love it.. there are many who do odd jobs just so they can have winters off to ski.  They are excellent skiiers, probably some of the best in the world.  But they sacrifice some amount of family life and materialism to be doing this type of thing. 

The GF situation post-analysis

Well I went thru some loneliness and post-breakup depression, when coupled with being sick it really brings you down (or brings me down).

But in the end, the gf and I are broken up but we are on good terms.   So I feel cool about it -- she was a nice gal, the analysis:


positive:
- young and energetic
- cute and tall, physically very attractive and athletic
- not rich but well off family
- pretty clean
- overall good gal, nice to family and friends etc, a proper gal i think

the negative:
- kinda lazy and hard to motivate
- not the smartest gal and doesn't really see cause-effect of things
- not as focused or driven as i'd like
- big age gap is probably biggest issue

So nobody is perfect, but to be honest, because she was cute and young and nice, I was pretty much ready to settle down w/ her and get married despite the issues I knew would come back (age, motivation, etc).  I know myself and it is more of a giving up on life moreso than having found the perfect gal to complement me.   At my age, i don't seek perfection.. I accept that I get what I get and if it works I go with it, and if it doesn't then exit hopefully without harm.

I dunno if its a good lifestyle.. but I can live with it.  But I will miss the gf, she was a good one.

Its an Opus One kind of evening

Well its an Opus one kind of month...

- turned 40
- girlfriend and I broke up
- got sick twice in 30 days

Feeling depressed about it all and again pondering the meaning of life.  I'll probably know by this point that there is no real meaning, life is just a cycle -- you do what you want while you are alive and when its over, you become dust in the wind.

So living without angst is probably best... but I'm deep down more emotional than I may seem.  So I go thru these cycles of weakeness in the heart and later rebound I guess to be my usual calm and baroque self.

Anyways tonight I drink cheap wine because other than the above,  I also recently feel like I'm making zero progress towards making it rich!

Turning 40

I recently turned 40.

I wonder about age.  Age is a fact, I have lived 40 * 365.25 days (given I am back in Japan where bourne, no timezone distortions).  Do all people age the same rate though?  As some die earlier, some age visibility quicker, what does age really mean?

Before pondering too much.. I admit I am getting old.  I am getting cranky, weak, and while 40's are the masterful years for men, it is a tough rough to the 50's and beyond.

Anyways I was sick this weekend so sickness brings forth loneliness.  but I slept alot and man I love sleeping

Snow season

I'm half way thru now

Snow season is brutal ...  so tired every day.  It wears on me and makes me a bit irritable..

Oldman walking

I’m 40 now
I am old
I am depressed
I will die
But so will we all

life moves on..

I got back on FB
And the startling news is...  lotta folks got married in the latter 6 months of the year!

I was shocked.  My gf was telling me the same thing how all her friends were getting married and how she wants to get married too.  I was like ok we can if blah blah blah.

So I tracked 3 cases.. #1 was a 1 month gf that I decided I rather sleep and snowboard than see despite her being a great catch...  #2 was a girl I went on a few dates with, very pretty but didn't have any chemistry or she seemed hung up on an ex.. #3 was a girl I was chasing for years now.. fabulously attractive, smart, great tennis player.  

Damn I guess they all move on!!   Good for those who are focused.