I've come to some grips with my life...
One reality that I can no longer dream about is quitting work to be a snow-bum. While I may romanticize about it and dream... I think I'm really not cut out for it.
I have another friend (female) who is a big $$ money maker but probably equivalent spender. She also dreams of quitting her fat and easy job and working in marketing for North Face or something... at 1/8 the pay. She thinks "wow wouldn't it be great... "
At my company, we have lotta folks who says similar things and think about quitting the bank and working freelance or at a startup, where you are really building shit and changing the world? (Now I wonder if my boy KT thinks he's changing the world ?? Or anyone of his peers?) They think "wow wouldn't it be great..."
Now I'm a dude who has had 8 jobs. Not even sure if its 8.. or more. That doesn't even include part time jobs in HS and College, but I'm a fellow who has had a job week in and week out since age 16. In these years I've found every job sucks in some way, and I miss every job in some way. Very similar to ex-girlfriends. But the thing I really have to step back into is the vicious cycle of work.. which is the same everywhere
.... first the feeling of joy, marvel, motivation and desire to prove yourself ...
.... next the mastery and domination and pride of being productive ...
.... then the downfall where boredom kicks in and you are tired of the same shit and slack off ...
.... finally the sense that the "other guys at XYZ" are doing things way cooler, and slack more till you can barely manage to wake up to go to work ...
At least for me thats the pattern everywhere, except transplant XYZ with coding freelance while living on the mountain.
But in the end I need to know myself. I'm not self-motivated, never was. Its a miracle I survive in corporate world as it is but I was telling my ex-coworker (hopefully not sounding arrogant), that I'm good at this middle management BS stuff. My managers trusts me, and I think people trust me. I don't know why, but it seems to work... so in the end I'm in the late phases of boredom and slacking but somehow, scary as it is, I'm getting used to it. Is that insane? I am getting lame...
But as lame as it is, I am starting to accept it. Look if someone had a job that was awesome, paid me 30% more, would be fulfilling and exciting and would let me take 25 days holidays to go snowboarding, then yes I will do it. (Even 15 days holiday ok maybe). But that job offer doesn't exist.. well I haven't searched but I don't think it exists.
(Counter argument is, maybe I need to sacrifice and step back, take a pay cut, work hard, re-establish myself and rebuild my skills... like a 2 steps back, 1 step forward thing.. ?). Uhh.. maybe.. or maybe not. lol
So I'm kind of accepting it.. do a bit of work, but focus on having fun. I just need to adjust my budget to save a bit more so I can retire in 10 years and poof, thats living !?!?!?
But honestly.. I think I'm starting to not stay up at night wondering about the ultimate job etc.. I may just settle in, do some side-hacking for fun on iPhone or android and relax. So much more to enjoy in life if you stop worrying.
One reality that I can no longer dream about is quitting work to be a snow-bum. While I may romanticize about it and dream... I think I'm really not cut out for it.
I have another friend (female) who is a big $$ money maker but probably equivalent spender. She also dreams of quitting her fat and easy job and working in marketing for North Face or something... at 1/8 the pay. She thinks "wow wouldn't it be great... "
At my company, we have lotta folks who says similar things and think about quitting the bank and working freelance or at a startup, where you are really building shit and changing the world? (Now I wonder if my boy KT thinks he's changing the world ?? Or anyone of his peers?) They think "wow wouldn't it be great..."
Now I'm a dude who has had 8 jobs. Not even sure if its 8.. or more. That doesn't even include part time jobs in HS and College, but I'm a fellow who has had a job week in and week out since age 16. In these years I've found every job sucks in some way, and I miss every job in some way. Very similar to ex-girlfriends. But the thing I really have to step back into is the vicious cycle of work.. which is the same everywhere
.... first the feeling of joy, marvel, motivation and desire to prove yourself ...
.... next the mastery and domination and pride of being productive ...
.... then the downfall where boredom kicks in and you are tired of the same shit and slack off ...
.... finally the sense that the "other guys at XYZ" are doing things way cooler, and slack more till you can barely manage to wake up to go to work ...
At least for me thats the pattern everywhere, except transplant XYZ with coding freelance while living on the mountain.
But in the end I need to know myself. I'm not self-motivated, never was. Its a miracle I survive in corporate world as it is but I was telling my ex-coworker (hopefully not sounding arrogant), that I'm good at this middle management BS stuff. My managers trusts me, and I think people trust me. I don't know why, but it seems to work... so in the end I'm in the late phases of boredom and slacking but somehow, scary as it is, I'm getting used to it. Is that insane? I am getting lame...
But as lame as it is, I am starting to accept it. Look if someone had a job that was awesome, paid me 30% more, would be fulfilling and exciting and would let me take 25 days holidays to go snowboarding, then yes I will do it. (Even 15 days holiday ok maybe). But that job offer doesn't exist.. well I haven't searched but I don't think it exists.
(Counter argument is, maybe I need to sacrifice and step back, take a pay cut, work hard, re-establish myself and rebuild my skills... like a 2 steps back, 1 step forward thing.. ?). Uhh.. maybe.. or maybe not. lol
So I'm kind of accepting it.. do a bit of work, but focus on having fun. I just need to adjust my budget to save a bit more so I can retire in 10 years and poof, thats living !?!?!?
But honestly.. I think I'm starting to not stay up at night wondering about the ultimate job etc.. I may just settle in, do some side-hacking for fun on iPhone or android and relax. So much more to enjoy in life if you stop worrying.
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