I often wonder...

I often wonder if my ex-gf, the psychopath, thinks back and is sad she didn't try harder to make things work.. I wonder if she has regret about how she handled things and realizes she was the one who pushed me away with her psychotic control freak nature, it wasn't just me... I really was trying in this relationship. Thus, I do wonder.. part of me thinks she doesn't regret and just thinks its all my fault, hence the fundamental problem in the relationship. Its quite sad really.

I definitely feel alot of regret that I wish thing worked differently. I often second guess if I did things differently.. or if I had done this or that it'd have been okay. But in the end, I know I there were far more problems than I could solve on my own here. So I accept it.. but I'm one to wallow in the past, its my curse.

Anyways I wanted to get that written down. I think about it regularly.

Its critical we all go out of this world knowing we did the best we could. If you can do that, then there should be no problem letting go. Its like the final game in "Friday Night Lights", coach billy bob says as long as you know you did your best and didn't hold back then you will be satisfied with life. I don't know if I'm at that level yet!