Reflections on life

I had time this weekend to reflect a little.

I think every year one should go on a pilgrimage somewhere and sit and think for a bit as many wise men have done before us.

I sat, I thunked. As I've come to learn, revelations are rare in this world, instead understanding of yourself and the world is a slow process that requires time, effort, and focus.

Anyways I think back to my younger days and how different life is in one's mid 30's. I think 35-40 is the peak time where you reach a crossroad where:
- health is starting to decline, but can still compete with the 20yo's
- not quite an oldman yet, i can still go on a date w/ a 25yo and nobody will bat an eye
- money is flowing in, where i could go to macau monthly and blow thousands w/o caring
- there is money in the bank, so some nestegg exists

Obviously not everyone is in this situation in their 30's, but hopefully you are better off than your 20's in these regards.

Single life isn't all bad. I was involved most of my adulthood. After being single for 2 years I realize its a solemn life as a nomad, but perhaps not so bad. I realize this more now because I am semi-involved w/ a girl in Japan... so as my singlehood may slip away I start to realize what I will miss. But we'll see, I have my concerns w/ this j-girl which I'll get into later..

But on the flip side, I don't see myself wanting to be single forever. If I'm single at 40 I'll go buy a wife in Philippines.

My company is falling.. and it can't get up

Getting killed -- or my company is.

I ponder if I should find a new job. The one year differential by finding a new job could be like $40k difference -- is that worth it... long term it may not be a wise career move since I could do well where I am if I hang in there. Many a times in the past I jumped ship and low and behold.. company rebounded with a vengence. But sometimes not. So u never know.

I think the major things keeping me put are
a) I am not that confident in capital markets. I don't know my analytics, rates, credit, etc as well as I should at my age.
b) I am not doing cutting edge technical work right now, so I am losing my edge there too.
c) I really like the people and pace of the company. Project is kinda slow but life is good. Can't complain while I get a nice paycheck.

But this bank may fail. But if it does.. I'll go to Vietnam and live for 6 months on my severence so no big deal I guess.

I'd probably buy some calls and puts and play a short butterfly spread and bet on volatility.

Macau

I can't stress how amazing the Venetian Macau is.

I may go back for the annual tennis invitational since McEnroe is there, along w/ Federer and perhaps Nadal (or Blake) -- either is a great rematch for Federer since he's on the downturn and I'm sure will try to win to get back on track.

Funny thing when I went to Macau I was wearing the same shirt for like 24hrs.. and same socks and underwear. But nowhere to shop except the mall at Wynn which only has high end shops. So.. I wound up buying a Hugo Boss polo shirt for $130 and underwear for like $30. Wow man that is desperation.... not bad, my friend has a story of buying a $500 Ralph Lauren shirt after staying out all night.

I joined the gym today. I wonder if I'll ever go.

Year 2 approaches

Year 2 approaches in about 3 days. I moved to Tokyo Aug 19th, so I'm like 3 days away.

It makes me ponder what Year2 will be like and how I should change it up as I think reinvention is key. I found myself in Roppongi/Midtown on Fri night again, kind of doing the same old thing... and you know what it is getting a bit lame. Thus I definitely need to venture out a little and do different things and part of that means hanging w/ different circles rather than VIG and the old gang.


I actually ponder seriously if I will go to HK -- maybe even end of this year is within reason. I'm not sure if its a good idea or not, given I've been in TK just 1 year and have not sucked the life out of the city/country yet to the point that I would never return... but will I ever do that I wonder?

I think thought process for HK is:
+ career growth as its a booming market
+ cheaper tennis
+ easier to travel out of HK to see the rest of the WORLD (rather than just Japan)
+ more expat friendly (although for me its a wash since I speak japanese in japan)
- less single girls
- dirtier / more aggressive / ruder society
- while its expat friendly i dont speak chinese which limits me...

Thoughts for TK
+ I have established myself, have lots of friends at work, etc. socially its a blast
+ I speak japanese and am improving slowly
+ snow season is awesome
+ lots of single girls
- shallowness of j-girls is kinda annoying me
- market is kind of dead here unless i become super fluent in japanese

So.. the smart money says to stay in TK milk it, clamp down and learn more, and in +1 yr make the move.

But I'm not always smart. I am going to ramp up and test the market in a few weeks and see if I can get a VP or Director position by job hopping. If I can then its well worth going. As much as I like my company it is dying out.. and internal VP promotions are very political. Requires like 10 people to sign off, while getting hired as a VP requires just like 3 or 4.

China Girl

In HK I met this 21yo chinese girl at a club. She barely spoke any english but we danced, drank, laughed, and hung out. Wow I must say I was in love. Sooooo cute, such a sexy body (okay in reality not that cute, but pretty cute by my taste, tombo would probably say she's ugly since his taste is completely orthoganol to mine). Anyways I leave broken hearted because I can't communicate w/ her since I speak no chinese.

Makes me realize there is so much to do and learn and whats holding me back is my desire to do other things. Its a sequence for me, I want to do X, then Y, then Z, but I'm perpetually stuck at X.

I have said oh I want to (A) learn more japanese then (B) study the credit business, and (C) work out more, and (D) learn chinese, but you know what? I'm study on (A) and attempt to focus on it. Perhaps I should attack all at once. I am not sure if doing 4 tasks in parallel is good or bad.. I feel focus is important, and focusing on 4 goals at once ? Hmmm. I used to read 4 novels at once as a test of sanity perhaps I should do the same w/ personal goals.

Anyways I'm back from HK heartbroken. Nah, but I'm back and HK was fun. Gotta get back to business now.

HK Again

I'm in HK this week. I'm working out of the HK office for a change. No reason except that I thought I'd check out the town since there is opportunity to move to HK w/ my job, and right now its an option, but oneday it may be a request, and then a demand. So I should know what I'm getting into.

I went to Macau again. I tell ya that is an awesome place. It has all the vices that would destroy a regular guy like me. Anyways I gambled at the new MGM, where I lost my initial $1k bankroll (1/2 bj 1/2 craps). Then I walked to Wynn (next door!) and with a new modest $400 bankroll I took the BJ table down for $1500 (net +$1100). Then I went to craps and padded my winnings with another $200 (so total trip net +$300). Yep I rocked Wynn. I wonder if I should ever go back to MGM, historically I haven't won much there.

Otherwise my impression of HK is that.. its an okay place. I am not certain its for me. I fear its too small a place, esp after hanging in the "zone" (Lan Kwai Fung) and seeing how damn crowded the main expat bar district is. Not having sufficient language skills kinda annoys me. Heat not as bad as I thought, maybe I'm used to it now after going thru TOKYO summer.

BTW I went to get a new suit made. $450 dude not cheap, we'll see how it comes out. I've gone to this guy for shirts, pants, etc. Reasonable quality.