Sorrow But Why....

I often wish I could be a playboy like my friend VIG. I say it again.. at times I play the game, but I don't have the stomach for it.

I was seeing this gal for a bit.. off and on for months and months, I never knew what the deal w/ her was, but I did know there was a lack of passion and I never felt much commitment/interest from her. I think she lacked the clinginess that I'm used to, thus never got much e-mails or anything.. quite odd.

But in the end, I let it drag out.. and then came to feel it was a waste of time, so I said hey lets be friends this is going nowhere. But to my surprise she says she wants to try harder and I say well I guess we don't spend much time together maybe we should start there... but in the end I feel it was too late. We started talking and sharing our thoughts at a point when it was already a dead relationship (other than occasional action). I guess even at my age I haven't learned the secret of expression.

Oh well this one is dead, and she feels really sad, which makes me sad because I am somewhat of an empath... I don't know if I did anything really wrong, but I feel bad that things were so unclear and nobody stepped up to say what they wanted. Lesson learned, be direct, nobody has time to dick around these days.

But my sorrow is shallow.. in the end this girl wasn't doing anything for me really. So gotta move on, its the right thing to do.

I'll go watch an inspirational movie I've downloaded for free now.